If you take a look at exercise 5.4 in your textbook on page 165, you’ll see you are given a passage in the second column that is wordy and hard to follow. Take a paragraph from your own draft that you think is also wordy or needs help to be clearer, include your original paragraph in the exercise and then revise to make it clearer and more concise. Your submission should have two paragraphs – one from your draft that you submitted on Saturday, and a revised version of that paragraph. Be sure to mark which one is your original and which one is revised.
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